The 5 Top Facebook Offenders

1. The Attention Offenders


This is my personal pet peeve that fuels my hate for Facebook despite my unhealthy relationship with it. Gay men are already notoriously self-loathing and the social media world is no exception. They have made an art of making every post about them. Whether they are showing their new pajamas or grandma’s tortillas, they will mange to showcase their bicep, abs, etc. You can spot them by the constant inspirational quotes and self-advice they give from their memoirs of the bar life. Unless you appreciate the constant flex they exhibit, delete this person before you spend the next thirty minutes reading them with your friend.

2. The Tasteless Offenders


Normal scenario, you’re scrolling down Facebook looking at the insipid posts of lattes, your friend’s dog’s bar mitzvah and then BAM… you’re visual molested by a mutual wearing under garments made for him seven years and four sizes ago. Don’t get me wrong, every gay is entitled to wear his choice of underwear without judgment but that’s because we’re not supposed to see them unless they’re dancing for those hard-earned bills you spend at the bar. If they not assaulting you visually they are disrespecting the English language with their, often grammatically incorrect, sexual suggestions. If they are going to be a tease, at least be an educated one. PS. No one wants to see what underwear you bought today.

3. The Ex Offenders


…I shouldn’t have to say this. Many people believe they can be friends with their exes…I’m not one of them, at least, not in the social network world. With the constant stalking, urges to communicate and what-could-of-beens, it’s best to treat this relationship like your physical one and end it (Unless you have a FWB thing going). Actually, scratch that, definitely delete him.

4.The Unknown Offenders

who dat

You’re constantly meeting people. Whether it’s drunk at the bar, drunk at the club, drunk at work (It happens. Trust me) and you will probably add them. Nothing wrong with that if you plan to see or interact with these people again. Personally, I only add people I want to socialize again with in the future. However, I have had my fair share of drunk adds after a couple of shots and party pictures. With that said, some of these people like to post way too much about stuff that doesn’t interest me at all and on top of that, I’ll never see them again. DELETE THEM. Thank me later.

5.The Controversial Offenders


This last person is controversial. Literally, as in this person will argue with every opinion about the latest hot topic. Whether it’s about abortion or the latest scandal, they will throw their two cents in and go to bank to get more change. These people will not stop until they can debate their stance and will offend whomever it takes to get a rise. It’s one thing to speak your mind about a passionate subject and another to disagree on everything. Delete this person or prepare for the 100+ comment posts. I’ll be enjoying from the sidelines.

And there you have it, the top FB Offenders in my book. Again, it’s you friends, page and opinion. Delete or don’t delete, jut remember you shouldn’t be scrolling through Facebook being annoyed with people’s pages. Be annoyed with their presence like it was intended to be.